General Category => Non FJ - Jokes / Humor => Topic started by: TexasDave on February 28, 2018, 06:00:21 AM

Title: Chemistry lesson
Post by: TexasDave on February 28, 2018, 06:00:21 AM

 Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. In tests, a tiny amount of Governmentium can extend a reaction that would normally take less than a second to one lasting from 4 days to 4 years.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass actually increases over time, since each reorganisation causes more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons

Title: Re: Chemistry lesson
Post by: ribbert on February 28, 2018, 06:49:23 AM
That's very funny Dave. I didn't realise you had been to Australia.


Title: Re: Chemistry lesson
Post by: TexasDave on February 28, 2018, 08:07:00 AM
I have not set foot on the Australian continent but I have set foot on Australian land.

L3 Communications Corp has an airport in Greenville, TX. They are a U.S. government contractor maintaining and servicing US Air Force aircraft. The Australian government has hanger space there to service their US manufactured P3 Orion submarine patrol aircraft. This space is Australian land just like their embassy. Permission must be obtained before entering from the Aussie Air Force Commanding officer.

The electrical work required us to be in that space for a day and the Aussie CO agreed. I also told him the Aussie flag was in the way and work would require it be taken down but I assured him it would be put back up.

After the work was done I looked at the flag. It is a very good looking flag. It has a dark blue field with the UK flag in the upper corner and white stars. I imagined how good it would look on my wall at home but decided it would be missed, along with my job, besides creating an international incident. Very carefully replaced it.